A Face Never To Be Seen Again

I could still remember the first time I saw him, with a red-ribbon tied around his neck, he's furry and fat, very quiet and shy. Looks like a cub. So we named him BearBear. He's always shy but after days gone by, he became hyperactive and aggressive but still cute as ever. Though he bit part of my car's mudguard off and my Dad's.. but he's still loved always.

BearBear is never obedient. When he's asked to come back home, he will not look at you. Especially when our gate is opened, he will rush out of the house to run around. Indeed, he acts like a stray dog but he's still an animal and he's still so young. He eats a lot, he likes to play but I was never there to run around or walk with him outside our house. Probably that is the reason why BearBear acts like that, play all by himself. Everyone in the house feels angry for what he has done to our slippers and our house's walls. How he scratched the paint off and my car, and mudguards.. and how he poo everywhere. But isn't that what animals do? Maybe he did it too much, but I guess that's the price one got to pay when they want a pet.

All of those will stop starting from today. At this very moment, I felt as if I just 'killed' BearBear. Mom said she wanted to give BearBear away, but I didn't response to what she said, and because she told me she'll ask around if anyone would want to have a pet, I didn't do what I'm supposed to do. I let BearBear played around as usual. Yesterday when we got back from Genting, BearBear ran out from the house again, without looking back when he's name is called, as usual. So Dad let him out cos after few hours BearBear will be back for sure. As predicted, he did. Dad let him in this morning around 6 plus in the morning. Heard Dad scolding BearBear this morning. Then heard Dad said that BearBear wanted to bite him back.. Dad claimed BearBear to be crazy but we know he might just be lonely and that's why he reacted that way. I didn't do anything nor respond. I just went off to class after that.

When I got back just now, BearBear's kennel wasn't there. BearBear wasn't there as well. I asked Mom what happened, and she told me Dad sent him elsewhere this afternoon cos he rushed out from our house again when Dad opened the gate. They don't know where Dad sent BearBear to, but I'm sure it wouldn't be a place with shelters. Yes, BearBear might become one of the stray dogs we see around everywhere. I felt so, so bad. I could've sent BearBear to shelter homes for dogs. I didn't. Now that he's gone, how am I going to face the rest of the days without feeling any better? I don't know. I'm mad, I'm angry, worse of all, where's my responsibility? I bear the responsibilities to take care of a pet. Just when we couldn't take care of him, and make him just less aggressive and hyperactive, BearBear is sent off to a place which no one knows.

I wonder what BearBear is doing now, is he safe, or is he not..

"The hardest to face in life, is to see loved ones leaving our sight.." - ericlim 10th May, 2005