Fair, Or Not?

I know it is not some big deal to lose something you want so much but if i don't say it out, I'm afraid I'll explode. Working life is not that exciting after all.. Things just happened without any reasons.. or is there no reason?

It has been almost one month and a half since I started working at 8tv. The first month was very memorable because I had to work 4am everyday for the first time ever in my life. Waking up in the middle of the night is just not easy. Plus driving alone on highway.. it's quite tiring.

Few weeks ago I talked to my collegue about taking over one of the moderators place because she found another job elsewhere. It was quite flexible for you only go work an hour a day, although it's from 1am to 2am. At least you get some side income for bills and savings. I don't have allowance and I feel bad to keep asking money from parents. Moreover, I'm already 22. So I thought yeah I needed this job and told him about it.

So, that's the story. Waiting for the news is hard.

Woke up this morning with 2 messages from Deni.. telling me how tired he was and the other one, to my surprise.. telling me he's replacing the moderators place. I was very disappointed. Knowing this I messaged my collegue and asked if it was true.. and his reason was that, his boss said so. What? Okay, so what makes me and Deni different? We are both interns at 8tv, both from the same course, both doing the same thing everyday.. only our schedule is different. How much difference that enables him to get the job? I asked for it first, and by right I should be able to get the place? I really couldn't think of other reasons why I don't get the job? I was very, very disappointed today. Never felt like this before.. Can I blame anyone? No, I can't. Maybe it's not my luck after all.

This is gonna bug the rest of my remaining days working at 8tv. Damn right it's gonna bug me..